She’s Alive!

BREAKING NEWS: Reports of Marjorie Quack’s demise have been greatly exaggerated — mostly by Marjorie herself.

In a shocking twist that absolutely no one should be surprised by, Marjorie has returned, slightly singed, mildly offended, and loudly proclaiming that she “meant to do that.”

According to eyewitnesses, she dramatically burst through a pile of trail maps shouting, “YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY!” before demanding snacks and asking who approved the memorial kazoo solo.

She would like the community to know:

• she is alive
• she is well
• she is considering suing the synchronized swimming judges
• and she expects a full apology from anyone who cried, laughed, or bet money on her cause of death

Happy April Fools Day from Marjorie Quack — the chicken, the legend, the menace, the survivor.

In honor of her return, we've commissioned another song celebrating her unexpected return!