Saturday, December 11, 2010

A Satisfied Eye Bleach Patch Customer

Another satisfied eye bleach customer!
The first eye bleach patches have gone out, making their way to satisfied customers all over North America. I made a quick trip out to North Carolina to hand deliver some of these important letterboxing tools to Mama Wolf. As you can see, she's quite pleased with the results. You don't want to know what's behind the camera! We would not be smiling now without these eye bleach patches on!

Now everyone knows that Wassa is the brains and inspiration for eye bleach, but it was actually Mama Stork who first contacted me about the idea for eye bleach patches shortly after I finished hiking the PCT. I immediately loved the idea, but since it was Wassa's patented product, I threw the idea to him to ask if he wanted to run with it. Guess he was busy, because he said no, but he too loved the idea. So then it was up to me to create the patches.

When I saw the results, I knew it was something special and needed to think up a way to properly "introduce" the product to the rest of the world, which is when I decided on the eye bleach countdown idea. Wassa helped me research posts to use, an astonishingly simple job for him since he's in so many of them. =)

And the rest, as they say, is history. Order your eye bleach patches in the AQ Marketplace today! Supplies are limited!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

And the #1 Reason To Buy Eye Bleach....

Because it's now affordable! Yes, that's right folks! For the low low price of $3.00, you can buy yourself an eye bleach eye patch! Admittedly, it's not nearly as effective as the eye bleach itself, but you know what they say--you get what you pay for.

If you buy two, you can loop a strap through the handles and tie them around your head, covering your eyes. I recommend a system that allows you to flip them both down over your eyes--perhaps a spring-loaded action with a panic button at the ready to maximize your eye protection.

Start protecting yourself against rogue posts, events, photos, and Wassamatta_u by practicing safe message board reading. Order your eye bleach eye protection from the AQ Marketplace today!

Don't make me take off my waist pack.
I'm crazy enough to do it!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #2

An insult to peaches everywhere!

When asked if his back was round, Wassa explained that yes, indeed it was, comparing it to an "overripe George peach" but "twice as fuzzy." Need confirmation? Ask the 59 people who agreed. Even more disturbing, at least 72 people considered this information educational. Why would they do that? Because that was when they first realized they needed eye bleach. It's a survival tool.

Order your Wassa's Patented Eye Bleach from the AQ Marketplace today! Quantities are limited!

Monday, December 06, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #3

Three words: Zombie Pole Dancer. Sometimes, it's not just the message boards where eye bleach is necessary--it's the photo gallery.

This is one of those things that you need to see to believe. Unfortunately, you'll never see anything again unless you keep Wassa's Patented Eye Bleach nearby! Buy yours from the AQ Marketplace today!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #4

Reason #4: In one of the most shocking posts ever, details of which I still don't fully understand, included information about a letterboxing event hinting about guys in drag, DD falsies, maternity dresses, self-adhesive nipples on Wassa's butt, and Wassa stamping in exchanges with his butt. All in the same post! 

While I am pleased to report that, so far as I know, none of these images ever made it onto Atlas Quest, I cannot be certain that will stay the case. It's like a ticking time bomb. Be prepared. Have your eye bleach ready! Order yours from the AQ Marketplace today!

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #5

Reason #5: Unfortunately for you folks, Wassamatta_u is one of the most prolific posters on Atlas Quest. Also unfortunate for you, he also has absolutely no sense of shame. Below, you'll find a video of him singing the MSU fight song. Ear bleach may even be appropriate, but we don't have that. We just recommend you turning the volume on your computer down if you dare to hit the play button.

There's a reason Wassa's name is on our patented eye bleach. He's also the reason that eye bleach is considered one of the "10 letterboxing essentials." Order yours in the AQ Marketplace today!

Friday, December 03, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #6

Reason #6: Sometimes it's not the content of the post that requires eye bleach, but rather where the post will lead. In this case, we are introduced to the website People of Wal-Mart. If you had eye bleach available when this post was first made, it might have saved you thousands of dollars in medical bills and therapy. Don't be caught without Wassa's Patented Eye Bleach in the AQ Marketplace again!

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #7

Reason #7: Kirbert announced a disturbing little habit: he likes to walk around his 73-acre property nekkid, even going so far as to say he'll often do this days at a time. "But!" I hear you thinking, "That wasn't too bad! Maybe made my eyes water, but I don't need eye bleach."

Think again. And again. And it even runs in the family. Heaven forbid, I hope you never find him on Google Maps. This is a problem that won't go away. Get Wassa's Patented Eye Bleach from the AQ Marketplace today!

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Eye Bleach Countdown #8

Bobguyman was kind enough to forward this
photo to me. Don't let this happen to you!
Reason #8: You never know when, where, or who will be the cause of your desperate cry for eye bleach. This time, it comes from one of our youngest and most innocent members: Bobguyman. In this post, he describes an uncomfortable and very personal account with a tick where the sun don't shine.

It's not easy to read, but ticks are a danger that letterboxers everywhere must cope with. This event could have happened to any one of us. By all means, necessary reading, but you can protect your eyes with Wassa's Patented Eye Bleach--available in the AQ Marketplace.